


percy is bi and this is the hill i'll die on

by sokkaseyebrows



Series: bi bi bi baby [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Bisexual Percy Jackson, Character Study, Denial, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, Percy has a thing for blondes, its just gabe being a pile of shit, percy's journey on his sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21861070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sokkaseyebrows/pseuds/sokkaseyebrows
Summary: Girls were pretty.But sometimes boys were pretty too, in the same way girls were.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Rachel Elizabeth Dare & Percy Jackson, Thalia Grace & Percy Jackson
Series: bi bi bi baby [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775182
Comments: 38
Kudos: 274





	percy is bi and this is the hill i'll die on

**Author's Note:**

> this is the story of me projecting my inner journey of finding out i'm bi to percy
> 
> there is a scene with gabe and his friends being homophobic, using a violent language and implying that someone deserves rape; it starts with ***** and ends with the second *****
> 
> there is a quick summary of it at the end if you decide to skip it.
> 
> thank you Juliette, my dear friend, for helping me out in this. it's thanks to you i figured out the timelines and characterization. (she came up with the coming out to grover, annabeth and argo ii scenes, God bless her soul)
> 
> also this story has a huge internalized biphobia for a long time and annoying amount of denial/ignorance of feelings. so please be careful if that kind of thing triggers you. i love you. you are valid. your bisexuality is valid. your pansexuality is valid. your feelings matter so i'm gonna say this again: if this is something that is NOT good for your mentality, please don't read it, or be careful.
> 
> edit: im a fucking dumbass i forgot thr second trigger warning for homophobia. it starts with ** and ends with **

Okay, listen.

Apollo was the God of Sun, and it wasn't Percy's fault that he thought he was hot. Come on, anyone with common sense could tell you this. He wasn't responsible for his mouth going a little dry and sweating just a little when he saw him for the first time.

Apollo's skin was tan, glowing naturally under the sunlight. His jaw and nose were defined and sharp but rest of his face was soft; his eyes were calm and shining, his curls were falling onto his forehead gently.

He kind of looked like he tried so hard to look effortlessly beautiful, but hey, it was working so Percy wasn't complaining.

Apollo was talking and talking and his words came out of his mouth so naturally, even when the things he said made no sense, the way he said things— Percy had never heard of someone talking with such elegance. 

It was beautiful enough to make Percy forget about his surroundings or quest. 

He was the God of Sun, and that's what he told Thalia when she said he was hot. Because obviously, what was Apollo gonna be if not hot?

Apollo was hot. That was a fact. And it wasn't Percy's fault that he thought that way.

(At least that's what he told himself despite his brain's protests, despite that little voice telling him that Apollo was indeed hot, but not because he was the God of Sun. But Percy was only 14 and had to save the world— again. He didn't have time to think about that.)

So he pushed the thought away, just like how he always did. Because it wasn't important. It wasn't a big deal— he couldn't let it be a big deal. He didn't let it be a big deal with Luke, and everything turned out fine, right? 

Luke, with the harsh scars and memories written all over him, yet gave Percy the kindest looks and sweetest of words.

(Maybe that's why Percy fell for him— his lies so easily. But we don't talk about that.)

Luke was one of the nicest people Percy had ever met, the immediate trust he felt towards Luke was just a proof of it. And Percy liked nice people, like Grover. And Luke was also beautiful, _very_ beautiful. Percy always thought some people were beautiful, there was nothing wrong with admitting that. What was he supposed to do? Call him ugly and lie? No, because his mom would be very disappointed. Percy always had a weak spot for pretty things and he would have to be blind to not see how pretty Luke was. 

So 12-year-old Percy didn't make a big deal of his breath hitching the first time he had met Luke, or the stuttering of his heartbeat every time he laughed. Or the glances he threw at Luke's side profile. Or blushing at him (just like Annabeth does, Annabeth who obviously has a cru— whatever.).

He could do it again, he wouldn't let it be a big deal. Because honestly, it wasn't a big deal. At all.

(Until it became too big to ignore.)

When Aphrodite told him that she'd make his love life complicated, Percy almost laughed at her. Because seriously, this woman shouldn't call herself the Goddess of Love if she can't tell that Percy's love life wasn't a mess already. It was complicated— to say the least. Never consistent, always changing. one week he was like this and two weeks he was like that. He seemed like he never could make up his mind. 

Girls were pretty.

But sometimes boys were pretty too, in the same way girls were.

(Just like when he was 12 and he thought how pretty Annabeth was, and how pretty Luke also was. For a while, Percy had a hard time to tell how they were different— why they should be different. And he still didn't have an answer— except that Luke was a boy.)

But when Aphrodite said he wasn't sure who he loved— that's when he panicked. When she mentioned his indecisiveness. 

He had faced Ares before, and he handled him very smoothly. His entire encounter with Ares was nothing compared to this specific moment. Because that's when he realized she knew. She knew whatever Percy was feeling, his conflict and confusion.

His fear.

Percy loved love, he loved loving people. He had so much love to give.

Percy hated wars, he hated fighting. He hated how he had to keep himself aware all the time.

But he wasn’t afraid to fight, fighting monsters were easy— relatively easy. Definitely easier than love.

Because honestly? Love scared Percy. Loving someone was easy for him, so he was always afraid. It was so easy to fall— and falling was scary on its own. It was scarier when he didn’t know where he’d fall— who he would fall for.

He was afraid of love, and he was even more afraid that Goddess of Love knowing about his little secret.

Except it wasn't a little secret anymore. It was big, way bigger than he thought and it was boiling inside of him and it felt like it was gonna explode and Percy felt helpless under Aphrodite's gaze, looking at him with eyes that can see everything— that sees everything and he wanted to run, run far far away, to home, to safety— to under his blankets and hide in there and shut his eyes and just let the sleep take him over just like how he did when he was 11, caught himself staring at Marco just like he stared at Gabriela about a month ago because when he woke up next morning everything was good, it was better and he needed it to be better now but he couldn't do that because she was looking at him, deep inside his soul with the eyes that see everything, and he wanted to cry but he had to keep his cool and—

She changed the topic. 

He changed the topic when his friends asked questions about his and Aphrodite's talk. He didn't wanna think, let alone talk about what happened because then he'd have to explain what she meant.

And Percy was too tired to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about.

He was too tired to just... pretend to be someone he was not.

So a few months later, when Rachel called him to meet up, he decided he wasn't going to pretend for once. He just hoped he wouldn't regret his decision.

*

Things got better and worse at the same time after Percy talked to Rachel.

He told Rachel everything— almost everything. He told him about Gabriela. And Marco. And Luke. And Apollo. He left Annabeth out because it was a thing he wanted to deal with later, so he put it in the almost-full box labelled 'deal with it later'.

When Percy was internally and externally freaking out, Rachel was calm. Her not freaking out or looking at him with disgust or not calling him weird eventually led Percy to also calm down. The sun was setting when he was done talking, Rachel rarely interrupted him, which meant he had been talking about this issue for almost 2 hours non-stop.

He took a deep breath as he nervously waited for Rachel's reaction. She didn't speak, and Percy wasn't brave enough to look at her face. Then she put her hand over Percy's to stop him from tapping on the metal surface they were sitting. She gave him a gentle squeeze, with that, Percy looked up.

He didn't see any disgust on her face. All he saw was a soft expression. It was understanding.

And acceptance.

Then Percy let go of his burden as he sobbed on Rachel's shoulder, as she held him close and secure.

So. He felt the relief of releasing the tension he had been carrying around for years, which was, as you can guess, a lot.

But he also had to come with the terms of his feelings. Whatever he was feeling towards those people were real. It wasn't just some kind of misunderstanding. If he thought he liked them, he liked them and it was okay, Rachel told him. 

Rachel also told him that it was also okay that he felt confused because feelings were confusing.

Feeling in a certain way wasn't wrong. Loving people wasn't wrong.

Percy knew that. Of course, he knew that. But it was different when it came to him. When it came to this.

When it came to him not only liking girls but boys as well.

Part of him wanted to say ‘screw it’. Part of him wanted to cry with the memory of what Gabe said about boys liking boys.

*****

He still remembered that day from years ago, when he was unaware of his own father's identity. He came back from school and Gabe was playing a card game with his usual friends. They were talking about a boy in one of those guys' son's school. The boy was gay.

The boy was— gay. Percy only heard of this word couple of times, used as an insult to the boys who were different than the others. Boys who didn't like fights. Boys who didn't like football. Boys who cared about their appearances. Boys who played with girls in girls’ games.

When he first heard of the word he asked one of his classmates what it meant. The girl said that gay was something when boys didn't want to have girlfriends but wanted to have boyfriends.

Boys who liked boys.

Boys who were abnormal.

Percy's face would still redden from embarrassment whenever he thought of that word. Apparently, it wasn't something pleasant and it was something to be embarrassed about.

(As someone who never gave it another thought of liking people and didn't really think it mattered if it was a boy or a girl, his first reaction finding out it was a bad thing to be was 'weird'. He didn't get why it was disgusting, but he supposed there must be something if it made other boys make fun of it)

Naturally, he didn't leave his room when he heard these 5 men talking about a boy in high school being gay. He knew Gabe would ask what he was thinking, and he wasn't in the mood to talk about it or talk to Gabe in general. So he just eavesdropped. 

They said he should have been expelled from the school since he was preying on other boys. One of them offered to beat the guy up after school so maybe he wouldn't even dare to look at another boy. 

Gabe said if it was his own kid who turned out to be like that he'd kick him out on the streets and let other men like him, whom he seemed to love, take care of his son. Then maybe he'd understand why he was disgusting.

*****

These words made Percy's chest tighten, he sat down on his bed and stared at the wall for God knows how long. He didn't get up until his mom came home. When she finally came, he suddenly got up and pretended to be going his homework. He didn't know what he'd say if his mom asked him what was wrong. He didn't have an answer to why he felt so attacked by the words aimed at a boy he had never heard of before.

So. He didn't plan on talking to anyone about it.

That was until Thalia told people she was a lesbian.

Which meant she liked girls. Which meant she didn't like boys. Which meant she was different too.

Apparently, a boy asked her out on a date and she rejected him. She said, "I'm a lesbian and a hunter of Artemis. So I was way out of his league," with a shrug.

And the fact that she did it so casually? Talk about a power move.

But the thing is... didn't Thalia call Apollo hot once? This made Percy even more confused than ever and he decided to just ask it when they were alone.

"I'm a lesbian, Percy but I'm not blind."

According to what Thalia said, appreciating attractiveness wasn't equal to being attracted to that person. Which. Made sense. Okay.

What didn't make sense was Percy's feelings. Was he worried about this for years for nothing? Was he simply appreciating the good looks of people without liking them? How would he tell the difference? Percy had seen plenty of good looking people but not all of them made his chest tighten or breath hitch.

"Hey, Percy... is there something you wanna ask about?" Thalia interrupted his thoughts.

"How do you know the difference between liking someone and just simply appreciating their good looks?" Percy said it all in one breath, he wouldn't have told her everything, not yet, but at least he could ask her this.

Thalia's frown deepened and her lips formed a thin line. "I think it depends. You don't like every person with good looks. If you are confused about someone, I would ask myself questions like 'Would I date this person?' or 'Would I kiss them?' 'Is the thought of seeing them, spending time with them making me excited?' 'Do I wanna hold their hand?' if the answer is yes, then it means I like this person. You should ask yourself _your_ questions."

Thalia let Percy think for a couple of minutes and gather his thoughts. When she realized he wasn't going to explain why he asked this question she decided she would start talking.

"Percy, whatever you're feeling right now, it's okay. I don't know if you want to talk right now, but if you ever want to talk to me, you can come to me. I promise nothing is going to change between us, I won't treat you any differently. You're family, no matter what. And I love you. And I promise you that no one in the camp will change their opinions for the worse. If someone ever does I got your back."

For some reason, Thalia heard what he didn't tell. Maybe it was the experience. Maybe it was her way of saying she had been there and she was gonna hold his hand throughout this journey. Maybe he was being overly poetic because he got emotional. Either way, he was glad that Thalia was there and offering him some kind of solidarity.

"Thank you, Thalia," he couldn't help the crack of his voice at the last word. 

"It's gonna be okay, Percy." She put her arm around his shoulder and guided him to the canoe lake. 

Suddenly the world wasn’t that big and scary.

*

After his talk with Thalia, things got better. He wasn't sure if he wanted to... come out yet but he knew he had a family out there, a family that'd accept him. That was relieving. It felt like the first time he had ever accepted that Camp Half-Blood was his home, and no one was looking for an excuse to get him to pack up his bags and leave (to think that there was a time where he did not let himself get too comfortable, where he did not even unpack… it was bad).

However, the world outside was _still_ scary. It was still cruel. People like Gabe still existed. He didn't want to know what Gabe's friends would do to him if they found out he liked boys as well as girls. 

*

So. One of the campers was bisexual. Which was cool. Everyone was cool. 

Except Percy. He was excited and freaking out. Ever since he learnt what bisexual meant he was testing it out on his mind.

Bisexual. Liking two or more genders. It sounded... accurate.

Yeah, it was accurate. The meaning left a familiar taste in his heart.

So. That’s what he was—he was bisexual. He had known that for a while now. And as he looked at Grover, his first and best friend, he felt like he was ready to say it to someone else. Someone who knew him really well. Someone who had always been there for him when he felt alone. So he told him to meet him at the canoe lake after dinner because he had an important thing to talk about.

Obviously, things didn't go according to plan. Not that he had a well-thought plan to begin with, but it's whatever. Although not being sure what his plan included, it certainly did not include him chickening out and hiding in the bathrooms for more than forty minutes.

Grover was tired of waiting and now he was at the door asking him if everything was okay. Of course, he could sense Percy's nervousness and whatever whatever.

"Come on Percy, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"I can call someone else if you want. Are you sick?"

"No, Grover. I'm not sick."

"But you are not okay, and don't you try to deny it, I can tell that!" Grover’s voice started to rise. 

"I promise I'm fine!"

"Then come out already!"

That's it. That was the last straw. "I'm bisexual!"

"That's cool Percy and I support you but that's not what I mean and you know it!" Grover didn't even miss a beat. He didn't hesitate and he didn't think about it. His voice was steady as he said he supported Percy.

"You-you do?" 

“What?"

Percy hesitated. Then his voice, small and vulnerable, has echoed in the empty bathroom, "You support me?"

"Of course I do Percy," he took a deep breath, and then asked slowly, "You thought I wouldn't?"

Percy didn't answer and Grover understood what went unsaid.

"Okay, Percy, listen to me. You're my best friend. I support you no matter what. And I'm proud of you, alright? Because— because you're so brave. This is a part of you, and I love you and it won't change anything between us. Alright?"

"Yeah. Alright." He didn't move, he needed time to process all of this. He had no idea how much he needed his best friend's support here and honestly, Percy didn't know what he would do if Grover said he wasn't okay with Percy... liking boys.

He let out a deep breath he had been holding.

"Are you gonna come out now?"

"I already did."

"I meant out of the bathroom."

"... No."

"Okay. Was this what you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah."

A silence took over the bathroom for a couple of minutes, nothing was disturbing them except their slow breaths.

"Do you wanna grab milkshakes and drink while watching the sunset after this?"

"Yeah, that'd be good. Let's grab milkshakes—Sure, okay. Cool."

"Okay. Cool."

**

It's kinda disgusting but okay I guess. 

It's kinda disgusting.

Disgusting.

Disgusting Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

Dis

Gus

Ting.

It's disgusting.

You're disgusting.

He thought he was finally making friends at school. He was slowly getting comfortable. He let his guard down.

He shouldn't have.

He should have known better.

He should have known better than ranting about how happy he is when gay and bisexual characters were finally being happy in media. How they were treated equally to other characters.

(How he wanted to be treated equal, had left unsaid.)

He should have known his friend would say gay couples are kinda disgusting.

('But it's okay,' he guesses apparently. bullshit. fucking bullshit.)

How he was dropping hints to this new friend of his that he kind of maybe liked boys too and how he started feeling safe when he didn't say anything bad and how it led him getting comfortable and finally thinking maybe he wasn't alone.

(Stupid. He should have known better. He shouldn't have trusted. Stupid. This kind of dumb acts could have gotten him beaten up. Expelled. Or killed. Stupid.)

"Gays are kinda disgusting but it's okay I guess. I mean I still would watch it but I don’t know. It’s making me uncomfortable. Like it’s soooo unnecessary you know?" the "you're disgusting" words were left unsaid.

"I'm not disgusted really so it’s okay for me," Percy had replied then, his tone way harsher than it was 30 seconds ago, and his eyes probably gleaming unpleasantly. He had a finality in his voice. The other boy didn't even bother to reply. He changed the topic.

(They didn't talk much after that. It was fine, Percy didn't need an asshole like him in his life anyway. It was fine. He was gonna act smarter than that in the future. This had been a good lesson for him.)

It was fine.

(Disgusting. Stupid. Gross. Uncomfortable. Stupid. Stupid.)

(Disgusting.)

(Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.)

**

Percy, going against his original plan, did not come out to Annabeth that summer.

*

Something else, something that definitely was not in his plans, also happened that summer. Annabeth kissed him. And then he kind of died. Or more like he went missing for two weeks after the mountain he was in was blown up.

So, he was not dead, but everyone else thought he was, including Annabeth. And then she hugged him but she was also kind of distant especially after finding out where he was and it confused him because what the hell.

What was she trying to do? He was confused over Annabeth’s reactions.

They also did not really talk about what happened in Mount St. Helens. Did she regret it— the whole thing? Percy hoped that was not the case because now that it happened… he kind of wanted to do it again.

Well, fuck it. He wanted to kiss Annabeth. Like, forever. 

Or at least until the next time one of the gods mess up, again, and they have to be the ones to clean it after them like they are their goddamn babysitters. 

And then he could kiss her again once the quest or the battle was over. And again. And again.

And again.

That is unless one or both of them die along the way. But it’s y’know, whatever, this wasn’t an important detail.

(Okay it kind of was but Percy’s mind was full with worries right now and he really did not need another thing to panic over, this was Future Percy’s problem.)

And apparently, he could not have nice things because before he could figure out what the hell Annabeth’s problem was, he had to leave the camp.

*

When he returned to the camp next summer, things between Annabeth and him had gotten better, it was less awkward despite the tension they both ignored stubbornly still lingering. Percy thinks Annabeth wants to address this but of fucking course, they get interrupted.

Like he said before. He can’t have nice things. 

*

> _Hold on, Seaweed Brain, you're not getting away from me that easily._

And he really, really, wouldn’t have it any other way.

*

Just how many times did they have to almost die or get interrupted before he managed to say he liked Annabeth?

*

“I think I should come out to Annabeth.”

“You don’t have to but you can. She would be okay with it.”

“I know but I’m still nervous.”

“That’s normal. Coming out is scary most of the time, especially in the beginning. I did not have this problem, but I understand why it’s hard. The world is scary. And cruel.”

“And big.”

“Yeah, and big.”

“I have you though. And it makes the world, I don’t know. Less scary. Wait, no. It doesn’t make it less scary. I just. I don’t know. Feel stronger. Like I— like we can take down Zeus.”

“Please don’t try to take down Zeus.”

“I can and I will. At one point.”

“Oh dear. I did not sign up for this when I became your friend in sixth grade.”

“I’m a whole package deal. You gotta deal with it, dude.”

“Gotta make sure you don’t get yourself killed? Kind of hard when you have gods and goddesses as your enemy.”

“Everyone else will be on my side once I take down Zeus. You’ll see. Everyone hates that dude.”

“...That’s not how it works. Like, at all.”

“Just you wait, Grover. Just you wait.”

“Dude for the record I knew you had a thing for boys. When you were at all-boys school. Because of the empathy link but you aren’t exactly subtle when it comes to your feelings.”

“...You knew about Brandon.”

“I knew about Brandon.”

“This is so embarrassing.”

“A lot of things are embarrassing when it comes to you.”

“Dude!”

*

He comes out to Annabeth by accident.

He did not mean to scare Annabeth while she was sitting on the pier, focused on her laptop, causing her to drop it into water.

Yeah, he was planning on making a dramatic but funny entrance to ease his anxiety and make Annabeth laugh but he did not think she would be scared! And drop her laptop! 

Now she was pissed, and he was more anxious than before.

“Percy. You better have a damn good explanation to why you thought it was a good idea to—”

“I’m bi.” He panicked, okay?

She stared at him. And stared at him. And stared at him. Uh-oh. Not cool.

Percy may be dense, Annabeth’s words, not his, but he knew he screwed up. Whether it was the laptop or coming out, or both, he did not know. And he was not sure which one was scarier.

“That’s nice,” when Annabeth finally spoke, her voice was soft— Percy released some of the tension he had been holding. He stared at Annabeth, looking for some kind of negative emotion— be it disgust, disapproval, anything. He found none of it. “But how are you gonna fix my laptop?”

Ah. There it was. The annoyance. And anger. Angry Annabeth was scary but right now he did not really care because she did not react poorly to his coming out! She wasn’t even— 

“Surprised.”

“What?”

“You are not surprised.” Annabeth’s expression has softened, she must have felt the worry and anxiousness radiating from Percy’s every fibre of his being unrelated to her laptop.

“Nothing you ever do surprises me, Percy.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” She looked at him fondly. Percy melted and turned into a seafoam at that moment.

“Percy... listen when we were 12, and when I saw you looking at Luke for the first time, you had this— look.”

“What— what look?”

“The very same look I was giving him.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It takes one to know one.”

“You know for a long time I couldn’t decide which one of you I was jealous of. I guess it was both.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Annabeth laughed at him softly, as if she was saying ‘hey you are such a dumbass but you are my dumbass and I’m really glad that’. (Which would not be the first time she said that.)

They sat in there for a while in comfortable silence before Annabeth held his hand and squeezed it. “I’m happy you told me, Percy. We are in this together. No matter what.”

“No matter what.” He liked the sound of it.

“But seriously though. I hope you will be able to fix my laptop. For your own safety.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Apologies later, fix it first.”

*

His mom took things well. That was— that was a different relief than Grover and Annabeth. It was bigger. His mom had always been there to support him through his worst times, and he had no idea what he would do if he lost it right there.

Coming out to Paul… It was hard. He knew Paul wasn’t a bad guy or it wasn’t like he had the power to kick Percy out of the house and he knew his mom would kick his butt if he tried to hurt Percy. But knowing these did not make things easier. So he decided he would not say anything. For now.

And it was okay. Being honest and living his truth was important, but his safety and happiness were also important. And right now he was content with whatever he was feeling. So it could wait until Percy was ready.

So he waited.

*

“Yeah, I dunno I think my godly parent should have been Iris.” One night he said in the Argo II during dinner. It was risky, to come out to multiple people at the same time. Just in case none of them was okay with it. So he just did what he did the best: avoiding the problem with joking around it.

“Why?” It was Jason.

“Because she is the goddess of rainbows and I’m not straight.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Leo snorted.

Things were good after that.

*

Percy may or may not have cried a little when Piper told him it was okay, that he is still Percy, she is proud of him and she will be there if he ever needs her.

*

Percy found Nico smiling a bit while looking at the ocean, could not understand what he was thinking. At least not until weeks after Nico came to him and told him that “he was not his type”. He was not sure if his coming out played a part of Nico’s acceptance of his sexuality or not, but he was happy.

He was happy that Nico, a kid who had to grew up in an even worse world that always shamed the ones that are different than him, was slowly accepting himself. Percy knew what it was like to be told that you cannot love someone just because it does not fit their standards of living. He knew from first-hand experience what it was like to be a small, lonely kid in a big, big universe that seemed to be against him. 

He wished he didn't.

He couldn't change his past, what he had gone through, but he could make a difference in another kid’s life. He remembered how it was like to have Thalia there. Even when she physically wasn't, knowing that there were kids like him— it helped.

It made the world less lonely and less scary. Because no matter how much it felt like it, he wasn't alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> summary of the part where gabe is being gross: percy comes home and hears gabe and his friends talk about a gay kid in a school. gabe says he would throw the kid to the streets and implies that gay kids deserve rape. also, it is implied that he believes in gay men being predatory which is very shitty of him because gay men aren't predatory.  
> summary of the second homophobia part: percy has a new friend at school and although he doesnt actively come out he doesnt hide the fact that he is happy for good representation in media. the other kid calls it gross and percy disagrees with him.
> 
> -there is NO justification to rape. your clothes, your sexuality, your gender, your flirting... none of them justifies rape. if you think there is something that justifies it, you're wrong. get some help you fucking weirdo.  
> -you are NOT gross for being lgbt+ people who call you that are dumb idiots and you deserve much better. you deserve to be happy and safe and confident.  
> -rachel is a lesbian. that's how she understood percy.  
> -piper is a pansexual. she and rachel start dating at one point.
> 
> this piece is really personal to me because 90% of it is just my journey finding out i'm bi. it took me years to stop being in denial and accepting who i am. it was hard. internalized homophobia is a bitch. so yeah. there is that.
> 
> as a muslim lgbt+ it sometimes feels so lonely. i hate that feeling because it's like me against the world. both of the communities reject the other and it's just. really lonely. it sucks.
> 
> but remember that, no matter who we are, no matter how lonely it feels in this world, we are never alone. maybe we don't see people like us all the time. and sometimes we are jealous of people who can find where they fit in. tbh i really want a place where i feel belong, but it's so hard to find it. but maybe we don't need to find a place we fit in. maybe all we gotta do is to create that place for ourselves. maybe there are a lot of people who are just like us, looking for a place they belong, and that place just happens to be the one we created.
> 
> we are not alone, no matter how lonely it feels. there is someone out there that understands us. i hope we all find those people. i hope we all find our home.


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